Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Look behind words & eyes

Look behind words & eyes
Feel the pain,
behind the flesh.
See the falling rain,
behind my sad eyes.

Search for me,
the fake or the real smile.
Because I already see,
the weak girl behind words.

But don't open that other,
the seductive dark side.
Do not bother,
something that ugly,

{because I cannot stop it}

Meaning of life

Allah Is One
Looking for a life,
a destiny.
Making beautiful things with what you found,
you are listening, but there is no sound.
Now you realise everything became upside down.
Fast became slow,
solid became liquit.
You've learned to see things from a diferend side of view.
Make a thing,
make a meaning of life.

Missing you


I miss your touch,
I miss your breath.
I miss your words,
to make me laugh.

To get me through the night,
You we're always there by my side.
Both still in love,
But an impossible chance.

I hate autism.
It took everything I had.
It maked my life so miserable,
it maked me feel so bad..

I miss your touch,
your lovely words,
your drowning eyes,
I hope I'll survive.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

If I was a butterfly

If I was a butterfly
I would fly in your direction
Because I only want to be with you
You said we have that connection

If I had to try
I would do it for you
Because you know I would do anything
To get through to you
If you were here
I’d be right there by your side
Because I want to be where you are
You know you are my pride

If you had any fear
I would take it away from you
Because I can feel what you feel
I know you through and through

*The memory*

I look at a picture,
I see two happy smiles,
Why are you not here by my side?
I know it’s the distance, so very wide..

Do you remember..?
The time we walked,
You hold my hand,
Kissed my hand,
And said: I’ am gone miss you…

You know the moment,
Our look in each others eyes,
You kissed me,
And we smiled,
I will never forget the feeling of love…

You give me butterfly’s,
And your sweet kiss,
It’s your touch,
I really miss…

You give me wings,
That’s one of your good things.
What I’m gone say is trough.
To say: 'I really love you!'

I feel safe with you,
Just hold me,
Its all you have to do,
So you can feel my love you.

We have something special,
Do you feel it?
Do you hear it?
Just listen to your hart,
Then you feel love…

I am not her

I see you with her
And I see love
I want what you have
With her
But my love for you
Isn't enough

I am not her
Nor will I ever be
But only if you would open your eyes
And see

How much I yearn for your touch
How much I yearn for that tender embrace
For your gentle hand to lovingly stroke my face

I looked into your eyes up close
And it felt like I froze
I saw heaven in your eyes
I saw that unreachable paradise

I am not her
Nor will I ever be
But I can't help but wondering
Will you ever love me?

Nativity in eternal affection

Lovely Babay
Your wink was like the exact contour of my mom's eye groove

The way you walk is like the rhythm of my mom's cuty caution

Your consolation is a thrilling resonance from my home's roof

Indeed, you never deny towards anyone's misprizing eye who tries to stun you like a nun

In the dead of the night, you hitch to me like the frangible baby's move in an uterus

Sometimes the way you respire feels like your spirit ignites all my veins contemporarily

My corrosive job daily hurts me but your abundant affection coagulates every injury into a fuss

Your calumniating resentful moods move like ebb and flood in a natural pulse because of your invincible fraternity

Your daily loyal affectionate words resurrect every set back like a soaring chorus

When I flee for your compelling household I am retained by the ceiling of your wall of cherishing surrender

My notorious crimes impedes our tender touch but my armoured guardian is always pulverized by your bus

Your bruises that rankle due to your cruel ex parners
are coagulated by my wailing whispers oh so tender

Ode to the paddekote

Beer flows rich in this small tavern.
I store these moments in my memory.
People laugh
an people drink.
Forgetting the sorrow of the day that went by.
I hear the braking of a glass
and turn my head.
Nobody yells
Nobody is upset.
After a sip of there glass filled with the cold golden beer they rejoin the neverending discutions.
Nobody giver another thought to the minuscul pieces of chrital like glass spread all over the red-brown tavern floor.
They got lost between the dust and the smoked up cigaretts and will be the wury for the cleaninglady tomorowmorning.
The glazing eyes of the already half-drunk people at the typical Belgian bar look around to find themself cought into a new discution.
I just sit at the small wooden table and I observe them.
The hard working people behind the bar run around trying to keep pleasing the neverending group of custumors, knowing that there place in this world is in there hands.
People come
and people go.
Here in this smalltown tavern.
They talk about the most useless things.
Feeling that they're getting more drunk with every glass that crosses there mouth.
The intens atmosphere that hangs between these old walls is sensational, it makes the world pass by and stops time.
People forget

and people remember.
They look back at there live remembering a smalltown tavern that crossed there pad sometimes and they long for another glim of that place.
As they continue living there lives, the live at tha tarvern doesn't change.
The costumers yelling there order, my parents serving them, the neverending noice of people in deep discution and accasionally the braking of a meaningless glass.
This tavern in this smalltown I call home, the smell of the air, the noice from the coffeemachine, the soft yellow lights above the bar.
It is were my live turns around.
People watch
and people think,
but will they ever know ...

Saturday, November 13, 2010


My heart is beating, overload
My throat got stuck, I’m out of air
Keys are gone, the doors are locked
My heart is beating, overload
Butterflies fly round and round
Desperately looking for a way out
Keys are gone, the doors are locked
My heart is beating, overload

Tears reflect the sparkle in my eyes
My ears hear more than waves of sound
My mouth is filled with question marks
My mind is thinking, overload

Butterflies go round and round
My heart is beating, overload
Love is patient, love is kind
Love is hatred, love is blind

Keys are gone, the doors are locked
My mind is thinking, overload
My ears hear more than waves of sound
My throat got stuck, I’m out of air


Does beauty hurt you
so much because
it wants perhaps
to make you whole

and you want to remain
broken because that way
it hurts less;
will mostly bless

do you walk around wondering
why nothing makes sense
the way the tender winds caress
and deep in you

the fragments that you left
can not remind you anymore
of life's eternal breath
and the unfair specks of death

I want to be

i want to be, i want to be
a little girl who is free
Not too small not too big
just enough to be that kid,
no more worries, no more lies
you won't see them in my eyes,
you will see, you will see,
that little girl who's still in me,
it's just an idea, just a dream,
I hope that doesn't sounds too mean
And when it does, don't blame me,
blame the ones who did this to me...


out of words
out of tears
I've found the edge
cover my ears

I'm losing ground

reaching palms
my smile

yet I'm losing ground

it's terrifying
the sky I see
grey rainbows and lost stars
so I look down

but still I'm losing ground

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Broken smile

I used to hide my cries,
I used to hide my pain.
I used to hide behind my lies,
I did it every day.

I hate to lie, but I didn’t want to hurt people with my pain.
So that was all I could do.
But that didn’t made the pain go away.
Now my smile is broken my heart so sore.
I don’t know why but I can’t fake my smile anymore.

it just is so hard to smile, when you feel like crying.
it is hard to smile, when you feel like you're dying.
it is hard to smile when you want to grab that knife.
it is hard to put that smile on my face, while at the same time I think of ways to end up my life.

The basic lines of love

There's nothing I would do that I haven't done.
You say this is who you are, but do I really know you?
I don't know if you've noticed, but you're losing me.
I don't think I have to walk you out, there's the door.
I've started to hate the way you make me feel so alive.
I don't need your sympathy and I won't fall for your trics.
Look around, this comes close to nor paradise, nor heaven.
You came back... But I'm sorry. You came back WAY too late.
What happened to us, baby? You used to be mine.
Who am I kidding? We both know I'll fall for you...

Thursday, November 4, 2010

4 Better Days

The train has left the station
and I can't ride along
It doesn't bother me to stay,
I couldn't go on home

The fear has taken me over
the fear to be alone
But there ain't nothing I can do
so I'll just sit and wait

4 Better Days
4 Better Days
Better ways to make up my mind
They're pretty close but I just lost sight.
And now I'm falling down like raindrops
to end up in a drainpipe.

So light me up like matches
And match my broken pair.
Appear and chase me out
of my uneasy chair.

And make me live again
until I die
Make me live again
And I won't whine

4 Better Days
4 Better Days
Better ways to make up my mind
They're pretty close but I just lost sight.
And now I'm falling down like raindrops
to end up in a drainpipe.
The train has left the station
and I can't ride along.....

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Change of Heart
I can be whatever you want me to be
but it won't be me

behind the wall of stone
my heart suffers a pain
that no word can explain
in the darkest corner
of my mind grows hate
like red roses in spring, naturally

drowning in a sea of Hennessey
tears dropping as autumn rain
melting the human been
inside of me

on bottom of life
but not tired to fight a way trough
the forest full of wolfs
I became one to survive


Image via Wikipedia

I love way, you make me laugh
I love the way you make me smile, while you are on my mind
I love to receive your messages
I love to receive your call
I love the way you give me kisses through the phone

but not that alone
I hate when you don't call
and don't message me at all
I hate looking at the phone, waithing for the anoying sound it makes receiving a call
But right now the worst of all
I hate the feeling that you don't have a clue at all


Image via Wikipedia

Here come the serenades,
the I love you’s and the flowers
Here comes his touch
as he calls me his princess.

Here he pops the question,
hands me his beautiful ring
Here I am supposed to believe
in a fairy tale, a childhood dream.

Here he asks to trust him
to lay my life in his hands
Here he hopes for our happy ending
So here, we say goodbye.

Here you thought we had forever
and that I was completely yours
Here the truth at last unraveled:
It was a fling, and nothing more.