My Father

Father

At these moments when Im weak
I just dont want to speak..

They ask whats wrong
I tried my best to be strong
But I cant, not this time
Thats why Im writing this rhyme

Pain, powerless, anger and the loss is wat I feel,
For my daddy is sick and wont heal
They often ask is everything oke?

My answer would be: "No, because my father will be gone someday"

Awake

Every night, I lie awake,
want to change, not to be fake.
It feels like no one cares about me,
Just want to die, don't want to be alive.Sadness is always in my heart,
just want to end and die, just want to start over.
I want to be accepted for who I am,
I wish someone out there could understand.
I ask myself “When will death come upon me”
I just want to jump, jump off dramatically

For Ben

I thought we would be a part
You've touched me since the start
For two years, I had a crush on you
And wenn you finally liked me too
I ignored every little sign
Though I wanted to make you mine
Inside, I was filled with joy
But you saw me with another boy
Maybe that's why you treat me like air 

I think it isn't really fair
You didn't wait for my reply
My love for you will never die
Small pain turned into a heartacke
Now I can't sleep, I want you back
Please, just return and stay
I'll be around, don't go away

Look behind words & eyes

Look behind words & eyes
Feel the pain,
behind the flesh.
See the falling rain,
behind my sad eyes.

Search for me,
the fake or the real smile.
Because I already see,
the weak girl behind words.

But don't open that other,
the seductive dark side.
Do not bother,
something that ugly,

{because I cannot stop it}

Meaning of life

Allah Is One

Looking for a life,
a destiny.
Making beautiful things with what you found,
you are listening, but there is no sound.
Now you realise everything became upside down.
Fast became slow,
solid became liquit.
You've learned to see things from a diferend side of view.
Make a thing,
make a meaning of life.

If I was a butterfly

If I was a butterfly
I would fly in your direction
Because I only want to be with you
You said we have that connection

If I had to try
I would do it for you
Because you know I would do anything
To get through to you
If you were here
I’d be right there by your side
Because I want to be where you are
You know you are my pride

If you had any fear
I would take it away from you
Because I can feel what you feel
I know you through and through

I am not her

I see you with her
And I see love
I want what you have
With her
But my love for you
Isn't enough

I am not her
Nor will I ever be
But only if you would open your eyes
And see

How much I yearn for your touch
How much I yearn for that tender embrace
For your gentle hand to lovingly stroke my face

I looked into your eyes up close
And it felt like I froze
I saw heaven in your eyes
I saw that unreachable paradise

I am not her
Nor will I ever be
But I can't help but wondering
Will you ever love me?

Overload

My heart is beating, overload

My throat got stuck, I’m out of air

Keys are gone, the doors are locked

My heart is beating, overload

 

Butterflies fly round and round

Desperately looking for a way out

Keys are gone, the doors are locked

My heart is beating, overload

Tears reflect the sparkle in my eyes

My ears hear more than waves of sound

My mouth is filled with question marks

My mind is thinking, overload

Butterflies go round and round

My heart is beating, overload

Love is patient, love is kind

Love is hatred, love is blind

Keys are gone, the doors are locked

My mind is thinking, overload

My ears hear more than waves of sound

My throat got stuck, I’m out of air

specks

Does beauty hurt you

so much because

it wants perhaps

to make you whole

and you want to remain

broken because that way

it hurts less;

will mostly bless

do you walk around wondering

why nothing makes sense

the way the tender winds caress

and deep in you

the fragments that you left

can not remind you anymore

of life's eternal breath

and the unfair specks of death

Broken smile

I used to hide my cries,
I used to hide my pain.
I used to hide behind my lies,
I did it every day.

I hate to lie, but I didn’t want to hurt people with my pain.
So that was all I could do.
But that didn’t made the pain go away.

Now my smile is broken my heart so sore.
I don’t know why but I can’t fake my smile anymore.

it just is so hard to smile, when you feel like crying.
it is hard to smile, when you feel like you're dying.
it is hard to smile when you want to grab that knife.
it is hard to put that smile on my face, while at the same time I think of ways to end up my life.

Naive

Image via Wikipedia

Here come the serenades,
the I love you’s and the flowers
Here comes his touch
as he calls me his princess.

Here he pops the question,
hands me his beautiful ring
Here I am supposed to believe
in a fairy tale, a childhood dream.

Here he asks to trust him
to lay my life in his hands
Here he hopes for our happy ending
So here, we say goodbye.

Here you thought we had forever
and that I was completely yours
Here the truth at last unraveled:
It was a fling, and nothing more.

Timeless

Deze heb ik gekregen van mijn liefste


In the endless seas of time
I see eyes shining like a blinding sun
staring into a gazing haze
I see new worlds opening
ensnaring me, entrapping you

Image via Wikipedia

Rivers of time, taking countless of curves
into thousands of directions
Without nerves, I throw myself into you
ripping myself apart,
reconnecting in all my complexions
to open up my heart

Fighting the strings of fate
I reground my thoughts
reshape to recreate oneself
to my former self
given up the resistance
remolded by you
I see myself coming back to thee

Image via Wikipedia

I reinstate myself next to you
refoccusing on the the collections
of my true emotions
Embracing my existence
like the universe, the earth
the earth, the oceans
arranging from emotion to thought
everything into its righteous place,

(for) Eternity
Where I is you and you is me
I remain,
the sun, the sea, the sky
in you

Reporting my reality

Image via Wikipedia

I'm just reporting my reality,
although there are some things I cannot except
With bowed head I stagger to these things around,
knowing that sometimes one is not enough to make a change
One is not enough to make a lost nature to be found

I'm just reporting my reality,
which isn't so great after all
When I compare all the good to the bad,
I know that whoever created us in the end,
failed at being a good person or had just given up by being sad

I'm just reporting my reality,
with people who have the wrong power or behaviour
People who don't ever get any respect from me
I am only a number in this big, big world
where I can put a signature on a piece of paper that says "I don't agree"

I'm just reporting my reality,
when people say "isn't the human race great?"
I don't always know how to respond
But then I think of all the things I don't agree with
and just say "well, I'm not that fond"

bad dreams

Lovely lovely lovely man
Sleeping in his bed
Dreaming dreams of which I think:
Which one could be bad?

Then, I would like to be an angel
Or invisible instead
To capture all those bad dreams
The dreams which make you sad.

But I am not an angel, nor invisible
I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is
the only thing that might could help
is to give you a hopeful kiss

Oh, then I’d like to be so close to you
To lay right next to you and say
“My sweet, my sweet, my sweet sweet love
Don’t let your dreams be grey,

The night will be awake for you
And so it will be everyday
Nights always care; they always do
So that bad dreams will fade away.”

But I’m not there now, and i regret
I want to be with you
Cause you can also say these same words
I have bad dreams too...

Self-sabotage

Help me,
I've failed once again,
I told myself;
I wouldn't do this,
I wouldn't do this,
I won't do this.

But I did.

I'll unfold the hidden pages,
That I wrote.
Behold the darkest, deepest stories,
That have never been told.

Put the right pieces to the puzzle
Disconnect me from my mind.
I'm sure you showed me somehow.
Was I really that blind?

Help me,
I've failed once again,
I told myself;
I wouldn't do this,
I wouldn't do this,
I won't do this.

But I did.

I'll tell you everything,
All you have to do is;
Walk this wicked labyrinth that I've made,
Just beware of all the secret traps,
which I constantly create.

I told myself;
I wouldn't do this,
I wouldn't do this,
I won't do this.

But I did.

My shooting star

Image by Ramon Smits via Flickr

The end of always playing a game,
Dissapearing of pain
Just te be myself for the rest of my life
Found that one step to get out of the rain
My movie has finaly started with a romantic dive
A dive in my own pool of love with just the perfect feeling
For the first time it feels complete and true
One glimp of that shooting star, to wish…
I finaly found you

Burning

I don’t want to burn anymore
I don’t want to feel the warmth of my heart
I don’t want to feel anything
I want to freeze to death

Each day I am dying a little bit more
For you
My heart I don’t know it anymore
If I love or hate it know
Me and you
A future so unsure
I just can’t take it anymore

I don’t want to feel my heart beat
Not anymore
My body becomes stone cold
My heart burns forever more

I am dying all burning
Burning from within
Burning like hellfire
My unlimited desire

Will I lose you

Will I lose you

Will I lose you,
If I tell the truth?
That I love you,
so much.

You're just a good friend,
is what I said.
But that's not what I meant,
to say.

I do get butterflies,
in my belly.
When you eyes,
meet mine.

But tell me,
and tel me true,
what am i,baby,
to you?

Eternity of these days

If your walking down the street,
if your walking hand in hand,
than think of the sun shining on you,
you will understand.

Do you love the man you hold?
Do you like his style?
If the answer yes would be,
than put on your smile.

Look now at the sun above,
look him at his face.
You will now know what love will be..
The eternity of these days!

The bird

Every evening,
Summer or winter,
A bird appears at my window,
Telling me his secrets,
And taking away some of mine.

He tells me not to forget,
To love the ones I still got,
To remember my dreams.

My words are in agreement with his,
I will do my best,
I will remember everything,
I will love, I will live.

Every evening,
A bird sits on my pillow,
Taking away some of my tears,
Taking away some of my dreams,
Just to never forget…